Holiday special, part 18. See part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11 , part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16a , part 16b, part 17.
Rating : Fluff-
(This scenario covers the request “comforts you when you can’t sleep.”)
“Just tonight,” your father had told your boyfriend. “You can stay in her room tonight only.”
The door to your room was closed because your parents respected that you wanted some time to yourself and your boyfriend to comfort you. You had both washed away all of the night’s evidence from your skin and changed into clean, comfortable clothes.
He couldn’t take his worried eyes away from yours as you dabbed healing ointment onto his bruised and scratched up cheeks. You both sat on your bed as you helped him, his hand resting gently on your knee in comfort.
“If you talk, this stuff won’t go on right.”
“Jagi-yah, you’re trembling.” That’s when you noticed that indeed, your body was shaking. From what? From fear? From over arousal at what had occurred? You couldn’t help it; a sense of embarrassment rushed through you, so you pulled your legs away from his hand.
He bit his lip and continued to study your expression. When you finished, you slid off the bed and went to the bathroom to clean your hands.
You looked into the mirror. A broken self, worthless against fighting off something that hurt you and your love. A victim yet again, even though you had made a promise years ago that you wouldn’t let this happen to yourself ever again. A coward. A mute.
The water continued to run down the drain, as tears fell from your eyes. It hurt, this feeling of uselessness and vulnerability. You remembered the force, the taste of his mouth invading yours like arsenic, the iron grip he had on your body, the words he spat like whips of fire against your heart. You took handfuls of water from the faucet and tried clean your mouth out, but it did nothing to wash away the bitterness that you remember.
He ran into the bathroom when he saw from the doorway that you were not okay. A sense of pain overtook him, and all he knew he could do was to hold you from behind, to tuck you away into the safety of his arms and chest, to shield you from anything that could possibly hurt you. His eyes clenched shut because he just couldn’t handle the sight of how damaged you seemed.
Unfortunately, the fear came from within you. At the feeling of strong arms, you immediately turned around and shoved this cage as far from your body as possible.
He was shocked, but not as much as the first time you had pushed him away because his heart could feel at least a little bit how you were feeling. He hurt with you. He dropped his arms to his side and backed away from you. “I’m sorry,” he said gently.
“No I – I’m sorry. I thought you were – I…” The trembling never ceased; only now, it was very obvious that your body was frightened.
Your legs gave away as you grabbed the table to hold onto to keep from falling.
In a second, he broke from his reserved stature and held your arm up to steady you.
Your eyes looked up at him and read fear.
“Can I… touch you?” he asked cautiously.
“I’m okay,” you replied mechanically. You tried to walk away from him, your body conditioned once again to keep clear of anybody that exerted force on you.
Unfortunately, your legs were weak and you collapsed onto the floor. He didn’t like this. Not one bit. That fucker messed everything up for you, stole things from you like your ability to trust. He was angered again upon seeing your state now.
He bent down to you. “I’m going to pick you up…” He gingerly swept his hands under you and carried you bridal style to your bed, your hands held close to yourself, afraid to make contact with his skin.
He placed you down carefully and pulled the soft covers over you, wrapping a warm, protective cocoon around you, before he stepped away and sat on the bed on the other side to watch you with an anxious gaze.
But somehow, this distance felt wrong. Even though your body wanted to reject any physical human contact, your heart was begging for him. With a trembling hand, you reached out to him. He held your hand immediately and bent lower towards you, his elbows resting on the mattress.
“Please come closer.”
“Are you sure?”
He slipped under the covers, holding your hand as he did, and rest his head against the pillow, gazing at you.
With a pressure as light as a feather, he swept your hair away from your eyes . “I don’t want you to be afraid… What can I do to make all your fears go away?”
He huddled closer to you and extended his arms out as if to wrap around you. “Can I touch you?” You nodded, so he held you close to him. The tip of his nose touched your cheeks, your lips, your eyes, and your own nose in comfort.
“I would never hurt you like he did.”
“… I know.”
“Don’t be afraid. I’m here.” He stroked your hair and kissed your forehead.
Eventually, he fell asleep, but you hadn’t. You stayed in his embrace, breathing in his calming scent, but this wasn’t enough to relax you enough to sleep – especially not after what had happened tonight.
You shifted slightly and this woke him. He had fallen only into a light sleep because he had actually planned to watch over you tonight, not to sleep. “Mmm? Jagi-yah, you can’t sleep?” You shook your head. “Here.”
He began to pull you towards him, your upper half onto his chest. He guided your arms so that they wrapped around his neck, acting like a cushion for him. Your upper body rested entirely on his, and his arms held you close by your waist. “When I was young and couldn’t sleep, my mom would let me sleep on her belly like this. My dad never liked it, but I always felt really safe. And I fell right asleep.” He brought his lips up to yours and stroked your back. “Sleep, jagi.” He gave your head a little push down so that your face was by his neck and ear. You kissed his skin, thanking him silently for all that he did for you, for his existence, for everything.
“I love you, forever and always,” he whispered into your ear. “I’ll be here; I’ll protect you in my arms. Sleep for the night. I’ll be here when you wake up just like this.”
The soothing way his hands moved up and down your back, the warmth of his body, and the feeling of his heart beating right below yours sedated you into a deep, comfortable slumber.